


Secure

by murdergatsby



Category: Hannibal Extended Universe - Fandom
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Intimacy, Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Morning Cuddles, Morning Sex, Panic Attacks, References to Depression, Sharing a Bed, references to drugs and alcohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-28 18:29:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11423667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murdergatsby/pseuds/murdergatsby
Summary: Roberto finds comfort within Tonny's existence.





	Secure

**Author's Note:**

  * For [haanigram](https://archiveofourown.org/users/haanigram/gifts).



> This was a commission for the lovely Breanna Dolly <3 You can check out their Toberto blog [here](http://tooberto.tumblr.com/) (it's really nice, and so are they).
> 
> I hope I gave the story she wanted justice, and that you all enjoy. ^^

Roberto felt himself squint as his eyes came to meet with the horizon. The sky was overcast and had been indecisive about raining all day, but that didn’t change the way the white of the clouds against the gunpowder-colored streets hurt his eyes. He shuffled his feet along, on the home-stretch to the battered door of his apartment building, with his hands stuffed deeply in his pockets. Under his waxed-cotton jacket he wore the same clothes as the day before. He had gotten away with recycling the same two outfits for months, but this little slip-up-of-convenience had earned him a reprimand from his boss.

They requested he “expand his wardrobe” and heavily implied demotion if ignored.

He wasn’t sure when, exactly, or how his boss expected him to tend to that. They knew what they paid him and they knew what his schedule looked like. He started to mentally rearrange his days off into skipped meals or shop-lifting, when they sky did finally open and drop a single bead of rain onto the top of his head.

Roberto lifted his line of sight to the horizon again, and this time glared with intent. It was like looking into the white of the sun and there was no beauty there. Roberto realized he wanted to fight the sky, but he didn’t have the time for that either.

Thankfully, he reached his destination before it began to pour. His apartment building had a buzzer, and he had keys, but the door to the inside didn’t lock. In all the time he had lived there, it never locked. Sometimes people without proper places to stay would find their way into the main entry, and he expected there would be at least a few to do that tonight. Those people never bothered him any, because Roberto had been there, but seeing them was always a reminder that  _anyone_  could get in. Anyone could march themselves through the door and find their way into his individual apartment.

His door had a couple locks. They all worked.

Roberto climbed the three flights of rickety steps to his floor while trying to romanticize the concept of his bed. He knew it was just going to be another night of fighting to sleep, and finally finding it when it was time to pry himself away for work.

He was nearing a breakdown, he could tell. He dreaded returning home just as much as he dreaded leaving. He dreaded both being awake and sleeping. He just hoped that, whatever hyper emotional state his mind threw him in to, would be short lived.

Roberto turned out of the stairwell and walked down his hall. He could see his door from there, and see the man that sat in front of it.

The man had his hairless head resting against the door-frame of Roberto’s door, with a hand casually guarding his face as if the dull light off the hallway was too much. One of his legs stretched out along the dirty red carpeting and the other hitched up at the knee to expose ripped jeans and a fresh wound from falling. Roberto felt himself smile.

It had been a long time since he had seen Tonny, and it had been a long time since something as simple as the visual presence of someone or something had made him smile. In fact, the last time he could place feeling this unguilted upon feeling  _happy_  had been because of Tonny.

Tonny had called him at 3:34am, and then again at 3:36am when Roberto chose to ignore the first call and get back to struggling to sleep. Roberto thought, for no more than a moment, that he could be calling because of some kind of emergency and answered the second call. However, Tonny had just wanted to share with him that he had seen someone walking around with a messy bun of hair, and he thought it might be a look Roberto could try.

His precise wording was “I think it’d look good on you.”

At the time, Roberto had been sleeping with his hair in a bun to keep the heat from summer at bay. He caught himself in the floor mirror he had resting beside his closest and smiled at the thought of Tonny thinking he looked  _good._

He reminded Tonny of the time, and received a slow and slurred “Uh, yeah. I just wanted to say, before I forgot.” as a response. He called Tonny an idiot through a laughter that almost brought him to tears. Tonny laughed too, because he knew he was an idiot and he liked to make Roberto laugh.

Roberto rolled his eyes fondly at the memory. He clutched the keys of his door to his chest and tried his hardest not to run to Tonny’s side.

The closer he got, the more fucked up Tonny appeared. He was obviously tired, sleeping on the floor that way. Just under his hand was a slice along the point of his cheekbone, and another that connected the bridge of his nose to his forehead. Roberto couldn’t tell if he had gotten in a fight or just fell, but judging by the smell of alcohol and pot coming off him it could have  _easily_ been either.

This didn’t cause Roberto’s joy to waver any. He worried about Tonny often and knew that he was  _just like this_ \- he got himself into positions like this. Knowing that he was here made that easier. He was happy Tonny knew he  _could_  come to him when he was in states like this.

“Rough night?” Roberto observed out loud when he knew he was close enough for Tonny to hear him.

Tonny’s form jumped but his senses came back to him slowly. His tired eyes eventually settled on Roberto’s, and he smiled wide.

“Eh, it’s only seven pm.” He joked. “I’ve still got time.”

Again, Roberto’s eyes rolled with a playful affection. He nudged Tonny in the thigh with the tip of his shoe to try and get him to move out of the way of his door. Tonny only moved enough to let Roberto in, and then went back to resting his head.

Even though Roberto knew Tonny would likely crash the moment his ass hit his couch, knowing that he’d be there for the night made him feel lighter. It made  _it all_ feel lighter, like Tonny always did. He wanted to tell Tonny how good it was to see him, but instead let the door swing open and Tonny tip sluggishly backwards into the room.

\--

Roberto didn’t know who voice belonged to, or why it was so angry. Roberto didn’t even remember getting out of bed.

He stood no more than five feet from the door to his apartment, arms defensively crossed over his bare chest. The door was locked, from chain to deadbolt, but still rattled with each rhythmic strike form the stranger’s hand.

“I know you’re in there.” He shouted.

With an exhausting amount of effort, Roberto looked to the couch in the middle of the floor. His apartment was only two rooms, not counting the door-less bathroom attached to his bedroom. The “kitchen” and the “living room” were the same shared space, and only contained a refrigerator, a camp stove, an old TV, and a couch. And, tonight, a Tonny.

As predicted, Tonny had passed out as soon as he made it into the room and on to something comfy. Roberto had draped a fleece blanket over his legs before beginning his end-of-the-day ritual, and that was where Tonny remained. He could see the bottoms of his feet, upturned against the arm rests, and one arm dangling out onto the floor. He wasn’t reacting at all to this intrusion and Roberto figured that he was just too chemically retracted from this world to be a part of it.

That was okay, he told himself. He could deal with this on his own and it wasn’t going to bother Tonny any.

“Open the fucking door!” The stranger demanded, following a drawn-out groan of severe frustration.

For a moment, Roberto toyed with the idea of returning to bed and ignoring this. He didn’t recognize the voice and couldn’t recall pissing anyone off enough to warrant this kind of late night call. Not lately, at least. The stranger had to get tired eventually and Roberto had a safe space behind another door, seated on a cold mattress, where he could try and hum the noise out of his head.

But he couldn’t move. His feet wouldn’t budge. Things seemed to be moving slower than they should and he felt like there was a timer he needed to beat. The stranger seemed to get louder and the sound grew closer to his eardrums. He felt like the sound was shaking him, but he knew it was just nerves.

He had talked to someone about it once before; it just happed sometimes.

His world seemed bigger than it was, heavier and faster. His vision started shrinking down to the size of his door and he didn’t know how to get back into the room. He didn’t know how to relax, how to put this behind him. He had never been taught to find the balance and now the universe was swallowing him.

Tonny’s hand took Roberto’s shoulder and shook it gently. Roberto leapt and gulped down a sticky scream. The startle made his bones ache, but slowly coming to see Tonny’s sleepy face allowed that to subside. The reminder that someone else was in the room with him invited his breath to come back to him. Tonny’s eyes looking from him, to the door, and back to him made everything feel real again.

Roberto wanted to thank him but decided quickly that it would be stupid to do so. He hadn’t done anything.

“Who is that?” Tonny asked at a volume Roberto didn’t entirely appreciate. He was too loud.

Roberto shook his head and crossed his arms tighter. The sudden release of emotional pressure made him want to cry and he wasn’t prepared to do that in front of Tonny. He lowered his eyes and turned away.

Tonny took it upon himself to answer the door.

 He unlocked the door with confidence, and swung it to its hinges. The man on the other side Roberto was now certain he had never seen before. Still, he let himself sink back further into the shadows of the room. He worried that the man might see his face and become even more upset than he was before.

However, as the man’s eyes rose from Tonny’s chest to his face, Roberto realized he wasn’t as threatening as his mind had originally made out. That, and Tonny was the most intimidating individual in the room, and quiet obviously on Roberto’s side.

“What do you want?” Tonny barked.

The man tried to stammer a coherent response, but Tonny waved a hand between them to silence him.

“No. Do I know you?” Tonny asked, with no real want for a reply. “I don’t know you.”

The man nodded. “I must have the wrong room.”

“I’d fuckin’ say.”

Tonny’s tone was stern and his voice was placed lower than usual. He shoved the man’s shoulder and caused him to stumble away from the doorframe. He shouted at him in Danish before slamming the door shut. The man apologized from behind the wood of the door, and Tonny kicked at it.

Roberto stayed in the shadows as Tonny turned back to face him. He still felt like he was going to cry. He tried to push it away. He tried to remind himself that there was no reason for this. Nothing happened to make him this upset. He didn’t need to break down like this, in front of someone he…

“I didn’t-” Roberto said, with a cracking voice. “I don’t know, I-”

Tonny’s eyes widened at the sight of Roberto with tears on his cheeks. The intensity of his expression softened and he quickly closed the distance between them.

“Hey.” He said, wrapping an arm around Roberto’s shoulders and closing Roberto’s face into his chest. “Hey, you’re okay.”

Roberto felt bad for causing Tonny to wake up. He felt bad,  _weak_ , for being unable to take care of this himself. He should have been able to open the door, say something bitchy, and shut it back in that fuck’s face. He felt bad for making Tonny feel like he had to protect him, but he couldn’t bring himself to say he was sorry.

“Hey.” Tonny cooed. He rocked his feet from side-to-side and made Roberto rock with him. He kissed the top of his head and brought that gentle joy back to Roberto’s heart, as he was one to do. He tightened his hold until he felt Roberto’s arms timidly wrap around his chest, and his hands ball up into firsts against his spine.

Tonny’s head ached, and he could hardly see through the inconvenience of forcing himself awake, but he didn’t mind this. He was simply thankful that Roberto’s eyes weren’t reading like that of a scared animal anymore. The fear of being emotional wasn’t something alien to Tonny, but he wished he could have words with the person that made Roberto so afraid.

“I’m okay.” Roberto murmured, while nuzzling his nose into Tonny’s chest. He acted like he was fed up with the hug, but made no real effort to pull away. It felt like they were dancing and it allowed him to give into the faintness of the moment. Tears dripped off his face and onto Tonny’s chest, but he didn’t feel like he needed to sob anymore. He did feel  _okay_.

Everything about Tonny, and who he was to Roberto, was comfort. His energy was goofy and warm. There were no rules when associating with him. No reason for Roberto to watch himself or second guess his choices. Tonny cared about him and by that simple fact, Tonny was Roberto’s safe place.

Roberto wanted to tell him that, but didn’t want to take from the moment.

“Yeah, you’re okay.” Tonny repeated, smiling wide and thankful.

\--

Roberto didn’t sleep much but, as the sun awoke and kissed his windowsill, he felt more rested than he had in a long while. Tonny was asleep beside him- under him, technically, with the way Roberto’s hand was stretched over his chest and his leg laced over his legs.

Roberto’s mattress was on the floor, only dressed in a fitted sheet that was now pulling off the bottom of the corner they rested on. Tonny was still in his jeans, but had taken off his shirt and socks. There was something alluring, Roberto thought, about his relaxed and dirty feet. He brought his own feet to them and rubbed them over each other. The physical closeness he was allowing himself was intoxicating.

Even without a blanket over him, Tonny was warm. That was the argument that Roberto would make if Tonny woke up to this and found their close proximity weird; that Roberto was cold and Tonny was warm, and that his sleepy body must have just been pulled into him like a planet to the sun.

To Roberto’s surprise, when Tonny stirred, he pulled Roberto closer into his body. Roberto didn’t need to look at his face to know he was smiling when he did it- he could feel it through his skin. The idea that, maybe, Tonny felt just as good with Roberto as he did with Tonny crossed his mind. He shook it away.

“Where are you staying?” Roberto asked, suddenly, long before Tonny felt awake enough to be answering questions.

Tonny groaned from his chest- a kind of roar or rumble. It wasn’t a negative sound, but it wasn’t an answer either.

“Right now?” Roberto added, bending himself to look Tonny in the face. He watched him blink slowly, rolling his mind into the realm of living. He looked better than he had the day before, now having slept in something better modified for a human body (as opposed to a couch, or the street side). “Do you have somewhere to stay?”

“Ehh…” Tonny responded. His face cracked into a nervous smile while he considered lying. He didn’t lie to Roberto, as a rule, and he wasn’t about to change that now. Still, old habits…

“Not really.” He said. He laughed to soften the blow of the admission. It wasn’t uncommon for him to be between homes, but it was a question he liked to avoid answering. He knew Roberto had his own stuff to deal with and the last thing he wanted to do was be a burden on him.

“You can stay here, if you want.” Roberto said. He tried to be nonchalant.

Roberto sat up on the mattress and combed his fingers through his hair. He wanted to tell Tonny to stay; not ask,  _tell_. He didn’t want to go to work and come back to Tonny’s absence. He didn’t want to wait for the next time Tonny had something ridiculous to tell him at 3am to hear from him, or for Tonny’s next bender to see him. He just wanted him to be around.

“Actually,” He said, in a voice much stronger than how he felt. “I’d  _prefer it_  if you stayed.”

Tonny scooted up the mattress and pressed his back against the wall. His eyes got wide like he was surprised. “Yeah?” He asked, partly wondering if Roberto had misspoken or if he had misheard.

Roberto nodded, and Tonny smiled. His eyes dropped bashfully to the floor.

“Okay.” He said, confirming his acceptance of the invitation. He looked back to Roberto’s eyes and nodded. “That’d be nice.”

Tonny tried to think of a way to properly thank him. Even if he’d end up overstaying his welcome after a few weeks, this invite meant the world to him. He’d much rather stay with someone he enjoyed as much as Roberto, than surfing onto whatever couch belonged to whoever would take him in next. Plus, this made it easier for him to formulate excuses to hear his voice.

Roberto looked back at Tonny with a stern expression. He looked mad but Tonny had known him long enough to know otherwise. He was just thinking.

Again, Roberto wanted to tell him how good it was to see him. Again, he wanted to thank him for helping him in the night- for protecting him even if it didn’t seem like the type of situation that called for a protector. Again, he wanted to tell him how happy he was to have him around.

When he couldn’t make his mouth form the words for it, Roberto tentatively leaned in and kissed him. It was quick, chaste, and could have been road off as something platonic. As soon as he was done Roberto thought he might vomit the heart that was suddenly lodged up in his throat.

Roberto always strived to portray an icy perfection. He wanted everyone around him to understand that he was in control, and it was a façade he didn’t enjoy dropping. His stutter of a kiss put him on an edge that almost took away from how perfect it felt to let that happen.

A chuckle escaped Tonny’s lungs, just one, before he grabbed the side of Roberto’s face and pulled him in for another kiss. Then, another.

Tonny kissed Roberto deeper than Roberto had kissed him. His lips were open and the tip of his tongue gently parted Roberto’s. He could feel Roberto’s heart racing under the fingertips he rested on the pulse points of his neck.

Roberto hummed against Tonny’s lips. The bud of happiness he felt when he had first seen Tonny re-bloomed in his chest. Kissing Tonny brought on the same blissful comfort that his smile did- the same emotional warmth of his presence. He felt complete, and that was it; with Tonny, Roberto felt complete.

He was a better kisser than he thought he’d be.

The kiss wasn’t breaking and Tonny took it upon himself to pull Roberto forward, on top of him, and then flip his back to the mattress. Roberto gasped softly as his body found comfort against the padded springs. For just a moment, he felt angelic.

Tonny kissed his mouth, then his jaw. He kissed a trail to his neck and held his hips firmly against Roberto’s. Roberto squirmed, but not from discomfort.

“’This okay?” Tonny asked, lips hardly parting from the curve of Roberto’s neck.

Roberto felt himself nodding before he found the words of approval. “Yeah-Yes.” He stammered. He felt Tonny smirk and grind against him. His hands fought to find holds against Tonny’s hips.

“There’s lube-” Roberto began, but then reached for it on his own instead of giving instruction. He reached back and between where his mattress hit the wall. He fumbled back up with a small bottle and pressed it into Tonny’s palm. “Here.”

Tonny wasn’t sure if  _this_  was where this was going, or why exactly it was happening, but now that he was here he couldn’t imagine a better way to spend his morning. Roberto’s neck tasted like sugar and there was no reason for it; Tonny knew he hadn’t showered. There was just something chemical about the inside of his mouth and the curve of his neck that made Roberto delicious.

Roberto wrestled out of the pants he had slept in and pressed his bare body against Tonny’s clothed groin. He let out a sigh has if he had been gasping for air and finally found it. Tonny wanted to make him feel like this all the time.

Tonny took Roberto’s hips in his free hand and felt him as if he were sculpting him. He moved his firm grasp up the muscles of his thigh, to his knee, and guided him into opening for him. He messily lubricated his fingers and slipped one into Roberto.

Roberto groaned and pushed down on Tonny’s hand. Tonny kissed him with an open mouth to silence him, and encouraged him to writhe against him as he worked to stretch him out. He added a second finger and a third, until their bodies were both begging to feel each other deeper. Tonny slipped out of Roberto and off the bed. He dropped his jeans and briefs to the floor while Roberto rolled on to his stomach. He parted his legs and lifted himself to all fours, waiting.

When Tonny joined him again, he kneeled behind him and took hold of his hips. He felt up from his hips to his chest, then guided him up so Roberto’s back was pressed into his chest.

“’Berto?” He cooed, kissing against the curve of Roberto’s jaw. “I want to see your face.”

Roberto’s lips let out a drawn out “fuck” before turning himself back to face him. Tonny’s chest was flushed beneath the dark hair there. His collar bone was sparkling with sweat. He was grinning ear-to-ear. He was always so ridiculous.

Tonny lead Roberto back to the mattress and spread his legs apart for him. He lubricated himself and lubricated the crease of Roberto’s ass, before lifting Roberto’s hips up and over him.

As his cock eased in to Roberto’s body, Tonny let out a steady and slow moan. Roberto’s body arched up and pushed down, impatient to feel Tonny up to his base. Stretching around him felt  _incredible._  It was one of the best things Roberto had experienced during sex despite the fact that nothing had really happened yet. It was just right.  _They_  were just right.

When Tonny started to roll his hips, Roberto thought he might die.

Roberto grabbed at Tonny’s back, lightly scratching at him and pulling at his skin. Eventually, Tonny took his hands from him and pinned them over his head; holding them at the wrist with a single hand, while the other supported his weight against the bed.

Tonny moaned freely and Roberto bit down into his lip to prevent himself from doing the same. His toes curled and he pulled on his wrists. The restraint frustrated him but in a way that made his heart glow. When he couldn’t take  _it_  anymore, he squeezed his thighs around Tonny and rolled them so that Tonny’s back was against the mattress. He repositioned himself more comfortably and started to ride Tonny, as Tonny lifted his hips up into him.

As Tonny neared his climax, he begged for Roberto to kiss him. His kisses were long, messy, and punctuated with a groan in the shape of Roberto’s name. He came and Roberto was quick to follow, loosing himself in the sight of Tonny’s body shuddering, his head back, his hands squeezing bruises into the back of his thighs…

Roberto rolled off of him, on to the side of the bed they had started on. He left a whole human-worth of space between them but found himself reaching for Tonny. When Tonny noticed Roberto’s arm outstretched on the wrinkled and sweaty sheets, he took Roberto’s hand in his own. He threaded their fingers together and rested his eyes.

“With scenery like that, you would think the rent’d be higher.” Tonny joked, still breathless.

Roberto’s eyes rolled and he laughed. Tonny laughed too, as he always did at his own stupid jokes. Roberto used their intertwined hands to gently strike at him. He called Tonny and idiot and Tonny rolled over to kiss him again.

Roberto knew that things were still going to suck. His boss still wanted him to get new clothes, it was still going to rain on him on his walks home, and strangers where still going to scare him. However, with Tonny, he knew things were going to feel  _manageable_. When he was with Tonny, the things that sucked could wait.

Roberto wanted to tell him that he loved him, but figured that could wait too.


End file.
